Wednesday, Apr 30, 2003
One of my friends has a weblog, but saves his more personal stories for his email list that he sends out maybe once a month. Today he wrote about himself ten years ago, how he would have called himself a songwriter, and about a song he wrote then after his breakup with the first woman who he thought he would have spent the rest of his life with.
Of particular poignancy are the lines in the song: "I bet you'll find that in ten years time...I won't even cross through your mind." To him the passage of the decade was a liberation, one item he could checkoff a list that he didn't even knew he kept with him.
It's been just over 10 years since I met the first woman I thought I could spend the rest of my life with. I didn't write a song about her when we broke up, but then 'breaking up' is a misnomer in this case, as it implies breaking off. I've been lucky that several of my closest friendships have come out of my closest relationships.
The recognition of an elapsed decade is freeing to me as well, but probably in a different way than to my songwriting friend. It's shown me that the valuable relationships last, no matter the form they settle into. My post-relationship friendships aren't about a refusal to admit interpersonal failure. They represent sincere, close ties that sustain themselves, even when we're apart for years at a time.
I'm still good friends with five of my six past girlfriends. Okay, seven past girlfriends, but there's an asterisk (I suppose there's always an asterisk) next to one of them. I'm not sure if this is more a testament to how much I value friendships or how differently from most people I view relationships, but it gives me warm fuzzies.
I wonder where I'll be 10 years from now. Who will shape my life then, and who will have shaped it along the way? I suppose I'm tacking a small item onto my own invisible list. I'm sure that come 2013 something or someone will bring this post to my attention. Things always tend to come back, in the good way.
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Hi, I'm Kevin Fox.
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