Rachelblog: A bit freaked
Wednesday, Mar 03, 2004
[This is Rachel's post. I'm hosting this for Rachel on my blog while she puts the finishing touches on her own. --KF]

So I don't talk to many people about most really personal things, I dotalk a lot... there are just many things most people never hear from me.However I feel like I need to talk about this, for my own sake.

I had a normal gynecological exam about 3 weeks ago. Everything came backfine on all of my tests and I'm a healthy little girl. However during mybreast exam the student who is also working with me found something. Sheshowed it to the main doc and they discussed and talked with me anddecided that it was interesting.

I should state that I have cystic breasts to begin with. I guess all thatmeans is that in general there are really small beads or cysts that arenormal for me and can be found all over within my breasts. They changesize depending on fluids and the time of the month and when you touch themthey are kind of rolly polly and all moveable and stuff. When they foundthis particular bump though it was much larger than the others. Decidingthat since I was only one week away from my period which is a time whenthose things can be larger, they asked me to come in 10 days after myperiod to double check this particular bump.

So today I went back. I didn't have to do anything but get my breastsexamined again. During the exams it was decided that the bump from thelast time had not changed size. This bump does seem to be movable, whichis good news since a cancerous lump is NOT movable, however it hadn'tchanged at all. The up news was that there seemed to be another bump whichmirrored my first one. That bump hadn't been there the last time, but I amtold that the fact that their is a mirror is a sign of normality.

Laying on a bed with a woman on each side of you both of them rubbingaround on your breasts and discussing abnormalities is an uncomfortableand also kind of numbing experience. Both women are really nice, and Ilike seeing them very much, however that doesn't make the whole situationfeel better. What was decided was that they just don't know what it is.They are nearly positive its not cancerous. Most other things (at leastthat they told me) found in breasts are benign. And the fact that I'm notyet 26 makes my risk of anything really low. However this little bumpworries them enough that I have to go back in another month to have itlooked at again. If at that point the bump is bigger or even the same sizeI will be having an ultra-sound on it. If it is smaller than all the other cysts in my body and we don't need to do anything.

As of yet I have not done any research since I only just came back fromthe doctors and wanted to get my thoughts down right now. They continuallyassured me there was nothing to worry about, however it seems odd to methat we are set on finding out what it is, if its nothing.

The other thing that hit me a little bit was that when deciding when toultra-sound my doc said she felt okay waiting another month since I was soyoung. If there is nothing to worry about, even if I was older why wouldit matter if we wait a month? Maybe I am reading too much into this. Ireally don't think that they are lying to me or anything, I have to stateagain that I really like these doctors and feel comfortable talking tothem. I'm just really not sure what to think and I feel like this is atouchy and scary area to have to think about.

I really and truly welcome any comments or discussion about mine or othersimilar situations from other women or men. I feel like maybe if I talkthis out in a positive way with others, I will feel better.

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Hi, I'm Kevin Fox.
I've been blogging at since 1998.
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