I've been thinking a lot today about relationships past, present, and future... One thing that email has over memories or photographs is that when you read an email from years past, you feel exactly what it was like to have written it, or to have read it. Going through my own archives (I'd sooner destroy paintings than delete email) always makes me maudlin, because no matter what's going on in my life now, no matter what good things there are that there might not have been before, the email always brings out the good things that were, and often can never be again.

I'm learning that every relationship is different, not just like different flavors of ice cream, but like entirely different foods, or different experiences altogether. Some of my strongest relationships have been based primarily on sex, and others haven't been based on sex at all. In some the satisfaction is found teaming up to take on the world, and others happiness lies in our detachment from the world, and spending time investigating each other introspectively.

They're all different, all beautiful, and unexpected, and all powerful. I think that's what I miss the most. Relatinships of any sort fill you with something. I don't mean power over others, but more a sort of vitality that, when absent, can put me into a sort of hibernation.

I don't really know what I'm getting at. I just wanted to get it out.