Conductor Gary this morning:

Good morning! This is the Capitol Corridor train 523 with service to San Jose. This isn't the train to Bakersfield. If you're going to Bakersfield, this isn't the train for you, and now would be a perfect time to disembark.

I can't stress this enough, so I'll say it a different way:

If you know a woman who got her hair caught in the ceiling fan, you could be on the wrong train.

If you've ever taken the riding mower to the liquor store, you could be on the wrong train.

If you know that the toothbrush was invented in Bakersfield because if it was invented anywhere else it would have been called the 'teethbrush,' you could be on the wrong train.

Any questions? You can come on down and see me outside and we'll straighten it all out.