...
A man dies and, being on the darker side of the fulcrum of judgement, he winds up just south of purgatory.
The devil gently beckons him and tells the condemned that he is to have his choice of eternities, that he is to choose from three rooms where to bide the time until the end of days.
The Devil walks the man to the first of three doors. Opening it, the man sees thousands of people, as far as the eye can see, standing on their heads, hands at their sides, perfectly balanced on an endless hardwood floor. Some are whimpering in agony, and others cry out for mercy when they see the Devil at the door.
The man closes the door and moves to the second, which he opens to reveal a similar scene, only this time the headstanders are balanced on an eternal slab of marble. Looking closer the man sees a few red patches on the floor where skulls worn down have left their sorry marks.
Clearly the first room, for all the similarites, was a better place to endure his torment, for some eternities would be longer and more painful than others. Nevertheless, there's a third door.
Opening the third door, the man experiences a momentary shock as green sludge and writhing, half-dead fish spill over the lip of the door and on to his (real? ethereal? imaginary? convenient? He pauses momentarily to wonder. In any case, now soggy) feet and trousers. This room, like the others, stretches on for eternity, with thousands of people ensconced within, but the second thing to batter his senses (after the fish) is the barrage of smalltalk and good cheer. The people here are right-side up, carrying on animated conversations with each other, smiling, and as oblivious to the man and Devil's presence as they are to the green sludge which reaches up to their knees.
The sludge, while noisome (and wriggling), hardly seems as bad as the inverted eternity on marble or wood, and so, pausing only briefly over such a monumentous decision, the man tells the Devil, "This is the room for me."
"Are you certain?"
(hah, doesn't want me syaing here...) "Absolutely."
[sigh] "Very well, then. Step inside"
The man steps down into the sunken floor, and slogs over to a coterie of attractive people to introduce himself. The door closes, ominously. "Hi, I'm Sa--" as he's interrupted by the booming loudspeaker.
"Okay everyone; Break time's over. Back on your heads!"