I'm taking the train today, for the first time in a week. On my last transit, up from Santa Clara after work a week ago last Monday, I was working on part II of the focus group story, as well as a few other fluffy tidbits I'll be posting today and tomorrow. Halfway between Hayward and Oakland, I'd just finished writing a post and I closed my notebook and took off my headphones.

My phone started ringing. It was Emily. As I thumbed to pick up the call, I noticed there was a waiting voice message from a call I didn't notice while under headphones.

Emily's dad was very sick and was in the hospital, and she had been planning to fly out to Chicago with her sister on Friday, but she'd just found out he was getting worse, and she stepped up plans to leave on Tuesday. As soon as the train arrived in Oakland, I drove back down to Hayward to provide what comfort I could as her friend.

Emily's boyfriend drove her to the airport in the morning, and by Tuesday afternoon she was with her father.

I've met Emily's parents a couple times. First, when we were dating and went to her cousin's wedding in Minnesota, and later when they came to visit her in Pleasanton. I know how deeply she cares for them, and I knew enough to know that I could barely conecieve what she's going through.

I was dealing with an issue with my own father for the past couple weeks, and that disagreement suddenly seemed so trivial compared to the prospect of losing one of my parents. As a friend, I'm always trying to do what I can for people, and when my friends are having trouble, I try to go out of my way to do whatever I can to help. It's humbling and frustrating to a friend so in need and yet know there's nothing you can do but take care of the cat, send encouraging thoughts, and wait.

On Friday Emily's dad passed away. It wasn't lost on me that if she had kept her original itinerary, she would have arrived on Friday, a few hours too late.

Even without being able to fathom the loss of a parent, I'm amazed at Emily's keep-it-togetherness. From the painful waiting/sleeping/living-at-the-hospital she's had to switch gears, fielding the calls of sympathy from family and friends, taking as much burden as possible off her mom. Today is his funeral, and I'm there in spirit.

Emily's staying out there for a bit longer to help out her mom. I'm looking forward to her coming back, to her friends who miss her, love her, and who are there for whatever she needs.

Em, let me be the first here to tell you how deeply sorry I am for you and your family's loss. We love you.