You know what's better than a Reese's© Peanut Butter Cup?

Anyone else's peanut butter cup.

Don't get me wrong, Mr. Reese makes a nice confection -- quite the vending machine lure -- but a cup you can eat in a bite? Even if you don't have teeth?

Real peanut butter cups make you feel like a pig if you get half the cup in your mouth in a bite. Real peanut butter cups are an actual cup of solid chocolate, filled with actual peanut butter (hint: real peanut butter oozes. It doesn't flake), with a thin top of more actual solid chocolate.

Real peanut butter cups would be embarassed if they were offered as a mix-in to augment other desserts. Real peanut butter cups aren't condiments.

That is all.